Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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