btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
