just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
