Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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