so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
