idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
