You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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