so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
did i just pee glitter
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
