I skipped work to stalk him.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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