She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
