WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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