3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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