About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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