You're my little dorito
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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