My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
