Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
