I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
