She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
