This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
