Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Pooping to opera.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
