Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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