honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
