I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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