So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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