are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
