This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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