my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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