My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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