That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
