Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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