Sponge bath it is.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
