she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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