that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
