OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
