why didn't you poke me back
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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