C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just want nice things and good sex
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
