I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i wish my penis had a tongue
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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