Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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