exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
