True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
