Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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