Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
