I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
