I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
