so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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