u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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