hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
