i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
