if only i could text you this smell
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
