you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Randomize
